Tag Archives: communication

August 2, 2012

8 Ways to STOP Worrying About Scaring Him Away!

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You’ve got a new guy. You’ve been dating for a little less than a month. You’re passed the “will there be a next date?” phase. And you’re pretty sure you’re hanging out this weekend. OK, so it’s only been 27 days (who’s counting?!) but it already feels like you’ve been together forever. 

You want to love him up, declare your commitment, and tell him how much he means to you.

But you don’t. Because you’re worried you’ll scare him away. 

How do you STOP worrying about scaring him away? START doing all the things that scare you about scaring him off:

1. Tell him how great he looks in that jacket.

2. Kiss him in the middle of the street, in front of his friends.

3. Invite him out to dinner with your best girlfriend and her new fiance.

4. Hold hands.

5. Initiate Sex.

6. Share a personal story about yourself, one that only your BFF knows about.

7. Ask him about his dreams–career and otherwise.

8. Whisper in his ear, “You’re very special to me.”

Remember, you are a nice, loving creature. That’s why your guy likes you so much. Give it up freely, and enjoy all the delicious, gooey, romance that follows! And most definitely report back.

 

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July 27, 2012

Waiting for a Personal Invitation

Every August, I head up to the Catskills for a weekend-long yoga retreat. This isn’t just any retreat, it’s the Goddess Retreat–all ladies, all ages, some newer to yoga, and some practicing for lifetimes. Despite our differences, we have one thing in common–we all want fill up our energetic tank, so to speak, so we can return to the city more refreshed, and better than when we left.

On these retreats, all the ladies are encouraged to bring their specific talents to the mix. Some sing, some cook, some whip up all-natural facial masks, while some run workshops on storytelling and writing. I’ve always enjoyed these eclectic offerings, but never contributed.

That is, until I got a personal invitation.

I got the gentle nudge from the Goddess Supreme to share my good stuff with the group. And from the moment she proposed it, I knew it was right. Of course–I would offer dating coaching sessions!! How perfect! How appropriate! HOW FUN!

But more importantly, how in the world had I not seen this before?!

Well, if you’re anything like I am, you might be waiting for a personal invitation for more things than you realize. And if you’re as lucky as I was in this example, you’ll get your invitation and you’ll run with it.

But why wait for an invitation? If you have something you’re thrilled about, the invitation is always there.

It’s the same with dating. Are you waiting to be noticed? Are you waiting for the guy across the room to approach you? Or are you waiting for your current boyfriend to tell you how awesome you are before you can really believe it?

WHY?! You already know you’re awesome. Instead, why not go out knowing that men want to meet you, get to know you, and date you.

No invitation necessary!

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April 7, 2012

Finally have good news to report to Your Mother.

It’s Easter. It’s Passover. And you’re single. Any way you slice the brisket, you’ll have to deal with Your Mother.

More specifically, your mother’s nudging, prodding, crying, or stoically passing the vegetables, hoping that Elijah’s chair is filled with your Nice Boyfriend next year.

“So, how are the boys? Any nice men at your new job? I know you go to yoga class these days, are there any nice guys there?”

“Remember Rachel from Oxford Street? She just got engaged to a very nice man. He’s a lawyer.”

“Have you tried online dating? I heard match.com is very nice. Susan’s daughter Sara found her boyfriend on JDate.”

Oy vey.

What do you do? How do you respond?

Here’s what always worked for me: No matter what your status–single and not dating, single and dating occasionally, or just hooking up–you can calmly tell your mother not to worry. Tell her when that things get serious with someone, she’ll know. And until then, she can assume that you’re just too overwhelmed to accurately report the number of men approaching you, asking for a date, and then enjoying your company over dinner and an Off-Broadway play. How could you possibly report all these endless details while shining at your full-time job, going to yoga classes 4-5 times a week, and meeting friends for tea and drinks? You’re a busy woman. And you have the attention of men everywhere. Your mother couldn’t handle all the excitement, even if it’s only second-hand. But you’re a good daughter; you’ll do your best to compile the specifics soon. Maybe next year.

Happy Easter Eggs and Matzo!

 

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July 27, 2011

In Touch

Yesterday I received a shocking email message. Big events were happening for a  family member on the other side of the country. The actual events were normal enough. But the shocking part was that I had no idea any of these things were unfolding.

There were no secrets, just failures to communicate.

What happened to the regular practice of touching base? Keeping in touch? And more importantly, what’s the point of  digging deep in the yoga studio, honing my ability to connect with people on a more intimate level, only to miss the opportunity to connect with family? After all, isn’t family more important than anything?

So, I connected.  I made the call. Without without the drama of getting the story second-hand from other family members, I went straight to the source.

I now realize that for communication to happen, someone has to start. I’m not always the best, but I’m willing keep up the practice of keeping in touch.

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May 26, 2011

Want to Make an Impact? Talk!

Do you want to make an impact? Do you want to have a positive effect on people? If you have a voice, you can change the world.

First, you’ve got to believe that your voice has value. Believe that your story has value. In your heart, believe that YOU have value. I know that may seem like a tall order. And it’s not always apparent when you’re indeed connecting with people. But remember, just by going through the normal, silly, messy business of living your life, you’re helping others. Simply put: Your discoveries shorten the learning curve for others. But only if you’re talking about them.

I know this because I get paid to talk during class, and no one (usually) talks back. But after class, however, people talk A LOT. Granted, some stories of discovery fly over my head, while others aren’t quite applicable to my life at the time. But often enough, I find myself thinking of something a student has said that gives me a solution to a problem I’m trying to solve, or a new perspective, or hope.

Talk! You’ll make an impact, I promise.

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May 26, 2011

Best Conditions for Intuition

Intuition comes naturally. It arrives in a flash with the right people, in the right setting, under the proper conditions. Everything has to be just right for the arrival of that special moment when you know exactly what to do, what to say.

A student commented on my dharma talk recently. To anyone overhearing our conversation, this would have been a normal exchange for yoga teacher and yoga student. But wait, WHAT dharma talk?! You mean those words I said right before we slipped into savasana, when I just closed my eyes and opened my mouth? You’re referring to THAT?!

I’d been teaching a room full of sweet, receptive yoga students. We’d created a supportive box to play in. And at the time, I felt I was just adding to the conversation, dropping a nugget into a vast body of wisdom. But apparently those conditions allowed me to meet my students exactly where they were.

You are intuitive. Assume it, believe it. The thing I’m most interested in: what conditions must be present for your intuition to kick in? When have you been your most naturally brilliant, instinctive, intuitive?

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