Tag Archives: Good Advice
Every August, I head up to the Catskills for a weekend-long yoga retreat. This isn’t just any retreat, it’s the Goddess Retreat–all ladies, all ages, some newer to yoga, and some practicing for lifetimes. Despite our differences, we have one thing in common–we all want fill up our energetic tank, so to speak, so we can return to the city more refreshed, and better than when we left.
On these retreats, all the ladies are encouraged to bring their specific talents to the mix. Some sing, some cook, some whip up all-natural facial masks, while some run workshops on storytelling and writing. I’ve always enjoyed these eclectic offerings, but never contributed.
That is, until I got a personal invitation.
I got the gentle nudge from the Goddess Supreme to share my good stuff with the group. And from the moment she proposed it, I knew it was right. Of course–I would offer dating coaching sessions!! How perfect! How appropriate! HOW FUN!
But more importantly, how in the world had I not seen this before?!
Well, if you’re anything like I am, you might be waiting for a personal invitation for more things than you realize. And if you’re as lucky as I was in this example, you’ll get your invitation and you’ll run with it.
But why wait for an invitation? If you have something you’re thrilled about, the invitation is always there.
It’s the same with dating. Are you waiting to be noticed? Are you waiting for the guy across the room to approach you? Or are you waiting for your current boyfriend to tell you how awesome you are before you can really believe it?
WHY?! You already know you’re awesome. Instead, why not go out knowing that men want to meet you, get to know you, and date you.
No invitation necessary!
My Ex-Boyfriend #7 taught me:
I could be a psychic friend.
After we broke up weeks could pass, sometimes months, when I wouldn’t think of him. And then for no specific reason, some ridiculous quote, or an unrelated conversation in passing would trigger a memory of him again.
Without fail, he would text the following day. Every time. Like clockwork.
Does this happen to anyone else? I guess I’m weird.
Or just psychic.
My Ex-Boyfriend #6 taught me:
Artistic talent is NOT the same as emotional intelligence.
How many times did I manage to miss this one?
Musicians, photographers, artists of all kinds–they’re no wiser, or emotionally together than anyone else. Even though they can belt out a gorgeous tune, or create a pretty picture, they can still be petty, insecure, and just plain retarded in relationships.
Some talents just don’t translate.
Hello my loves! I’m so ridiculously thrilled to present the Top 1o Dating Tips: From Me. To Me.!
Here’s the Deal: I have the honor of interviewing the bestest women on the planet for The Dating Project. And at the very end of these interviews, when the pen is down, the book is closed, the interview is ov-ah, I’ve been slipping in one more teensy-weensy little question:
“What Advice Would You Give Your 10-Year-Younger Self?”
Here’s what our women said:
1. Don’t force the relationship you’re in now because you’re scared of the future.
2. Let go and see what the future holds.
3. There is plenty of time.
4. Don’t forget to shave your legs. You never know what will happen.
5. Don’t waste your energy getting upset with your ex-boyfriend. Just leave.
6. Sarcasm rarely works the way you want it to. Just be honest instead.
7. “If you would be loved, be lovable.” I got that in a fortune cookie. It still holds true.
8. It gets so much better, you wouldn’t even believe it if I told you.
9. Learn to “date yourself.”
10. Just say “thank you” when someone gives you a compliment.
My Ex-Boyfriend #5 taught me:
To peek outside my little world.
We met traveling. We were from different scenes, with different interests, and completely different lifestyles. To me, he was exotic. To him, I was the exotic one.
Thank you Ex-Boyfriend #5, for reminding me that although the world is big, human connections makes it feel cozy and small.
The Dating Project, the newest segment here at The Inside Voice! We’re talking to sexy, successful and smarty-pants women to find out what they really think and feel about dating. Because being single doesn’t mean you’re ALONE.
Let’s meet Rachel M!***
1. Age and Occupation?
29 – Interior Designer
2. Are you currently in a relationship?
3. Place in Order of Importance: Work, Friends, Love, Other.
Friends, Love, Work, Other
4. Can you spot any patterns in past relationships?
I tend to date people who are not secure in their career. They are more focused on themselves and their own future as opposed to moving forward as a couple.
5. Rate yourself, on a scale 1-10:
Self Confidence- 6
6. What barriers keep you from meeting a guy you like?
Looking for someone in the same religion/ethnic group as myself, being in a work environment where most people are married and only know other “marrieds” as well as being a small Jewish population within my industry, as well as having a core group of friends that don’t know men to introduce me to.
7. What does your dating life look like now?
8. What attributes are most attractive to you in a partner?
Compassion, Low-maintenance, Fun, Relaxed
9. a) What does your perfect love life look like?
Constant smiling, always trying something new.
b) In a word (or words), what does that scenario feel like?
Comfortable. Not having to work hard at the relationship.
10. Last question, do you believe in “The One”?
I believe that there could be more than one that could be the ideal match that you could see across the room and just know they are right.
Thanks Rachel M!
Inside Voice Wrap Up: OK, first thing you need to know about Rachel M–She’s a no bullshit kinda lady. She’s beyond smart, and super clear about her situation. I love that. When I sat down with her, she’d just come from a long day at work. Work is important to Rachel, and she’s really good at it. And over and over again, she told me stories of men she’d dated, who weren’t quite settled in their own career. Every time, that uncertainty lead to their break up. For her, and for many women who want to settle down, meeting a man who is already plugging away at their chosen career is a priority. I mean, how many times can you date someone for 6 months, only to find out that they want to “find themselves,” in Australia, without you? So yes, Rachel has learned her lesson. No more uncertain career types.
Rachel wants a partner, and believes that it will happen for her. She doesn’t have a fantasy of a man sweeping her off her feet and changing her life. Rather, she wants the life she has, only shared. She’s so cool. With a bump in self-confidence, a shopping spree, and maybe a lil’ a summer fling, I think this girl will be ready to spot her ideal match across the room, and know it’s right.
***Some names have been changed, some haven’t. Each woman has the option to use her own name or choose her fantasy pseudonym. I’m not telling which ones are which. Hear these women’s voices. Listen to their stories. They’re just like you!