Tag Archives: yoga

June 11, 2012

From Manduka to Match: A Yoga Workshop for the Single Girl

Yoga for the Single Girl! 

Saturday June 30th, 4:00pm. It’s happening. And I’m just giddy with excitement!!! I’m combining two of my most favorite things in the world–Yoga and my Single Girls–to create a yoga workshop designed specifically for YOU.

But I can’t do it without you. So I humbly ask for your help to make this workshop the most honest, nourishing, enlightening, and over-the-top-fun it can possibly be.

 

What to I want you to do? Comment, of course!

What are your biggest dating questions? How does your yoga practice affect your dating “practice”? If your love life were a yoga pose, what would it be?  What do you desperately need to know about dating, and being single?

This is an extraordinary opportunity to share your questions and get answers, not just from me, but from some of the wisest, sexiest, most fantabulous women in attendance. Email daniella@theinsidevoice.net or post in the comments section.

Want more info? Here it is...

Click Yoga for the Single Girl! to see the perfectly pink flyer! Click HERE to Sign Up!

You’re a Single Girl.

You’re meeting new people. You flirt with cuties on the street. You pour through online profiles, and accept blind dates because your aunt’s accountant has a Nice Son. You’re upbeat and you’re hopeful. And you’re working harder than any of your married friends realize, or care to remember.

Let’s face it, Single Girl—you could use a little R&R.

In this workshop, we’ll create a super-duper safe space to do just that—rest, reflect and reboot. We’ll trade stories—love and horror, alike. We’ll deal with all the sticky, sexy, and truly baffling parts of dating. And we’ll use the tools of yoga to lead you, Single Girl, toward happiness.

We’ll answer questions like:

Friday night yoga class or first date—what wins out?

How do I stay confident after a break up?

Can yoga make me a better dater?

Is it weird to do yoga on a third date?

Where in the world do I meet someone, anyway?

What you’ll get:

1) Practical take-home asana and meditation techniques, designed specifically for YOU, Single Girl. They will help you to build stamina, strength and self-confidence through the euphoric highs and sudden lows of dating.

2) Your Tribe, a circle of Single Girls that you trust with your heart. Think of it like having all your best girlfriends on speed dial, all the time, forever.

3) A new perspective on your own love life. Some of the “worst date ever” stories won’t be yours. ‘Nuff said.

Who it’s for:

Single Girls—any age, any life stage, in any situation—who love yoga.

Who it’s NOT for:

Marrieds. Men. Of course we love our married friends, and we sure do love men. But this is just for us Single Girls.

How can I be sure it’s right for me?

If you’ve ever…

…Come to class on Sunday morning, all rosy-cheeked and giddy, still wearing your party dress from last night’s epic first date…

OR

…Met your best friend for a yoga date/photo shoot, to capture a glamorous, yet yoga-glowy pic for your online dating profile…

OR

…Rolled out your mat, nursing a break up hangover, and aching for some comfort and quiet time…

YES, this workshop is right for you!

Schedule: 2 hours plus drinks

Open circle

Asana

Meditation

Journaling—want list/intention list

Shavasana

DRINKS!

Click Yoga for the Single Girl! to see the perfectly pink flyer, or click HERE to Sign Up!

 

 

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May 3, 2012

The Dating Project…Meet Jill!

Welcome Back to…

The Dating Project, the newest segment here at The Inside Voice! We’re talking to sexy, successful and smarty-pants women to find out what they really think and feel about dating. Because being single doesn’t mean you’re ALONE.

Let’s meet Jill!***

1. Age and Occupation? 24. Server at L. (ed. note–it’s a fancy pants restaurant in Tribeca)

2. Are you currently in a relationship? No.

3. Place in Order of Importance: Work, Friends, Love, Other.

Other, friends, love, work.

What’s “other” for you? Wellness–meditation, physical movement, yoga, massage, all that good stuff.

4. Can you spot any patterns in past relationships?

Yes. (pause)  I’ll lose interest in the relationship, and know it’s not going to last. But I’ll stay in it anyway, for way too long. It gets to the point where I don’t even like the other person as a friend anymore.

How come? I don’t want to react impulsively. 99% of my intuition is on point. I just don’t always listen to it. And it never feels like the right time to break up with someone.

5. Rate yourself, on a scale 1-10:

Self Confidence- 6. Fear plays more of a factor in confidence than positive things. And I do have fear.

Self-Love- That’s really tricky. I would argue a 7, 7.5? 7. In relationships, my own self love is viewed as selfishness by the other woman I’m dating. Self love is really just giving myself the things that are important to me, like personal space. And not necessarily sleeping together every night.

In fact, it’s been a huge issue in the past. I have a difficult relationship with my mother. During college, my girlfriend at the time was offended that I didn’t stand up to my mother about our relationship. But “standing up” to her also meant being at odds with her, and I didn’t want that. Instead, I wanted to nourish the small bit of sweetness in my relationship with my mother. So I chose my relationship with my mother over my relationship with my girlfriend. My girlfriend wasn’t too happy about that, and she thought I was being selfish. But I did what I thought was right at the time.

Attractiveness- (smiles) 8.

6. What barriers keep you from meeting a guy you like?

Dating is weird. Online dating is fine for other people, but I’d never want to do online dating myself. With online dating, you have to develop a whole different communication style.

And the gay community can be really competitive and judgmental. Women are women everywhere.

7. What does your dating life look like now?

Bleak. I’ve been in NYC since July (for a total of 9 months). Before that, I was in Greensboro, North Carolina, where I dated a lot. I came here not knowing anyone. And after 9 months, I finally feel like I’m standing on my own two feet. It’s actually a nice standstill right now with dating. The door isn’t shut, but there’s also no sense of urgency to make something happen. Right now, I’m focusing on friends, eating, drinking, my spiritual life, wellness and mental health.

8. What attributes are most attractive to you in a partner?

CLEAR. I’m such a whore for clarity. I’m so deliberate in everything I do and say. So I really like that in others. Also, trustworthy, funny, loving to themselves, and to humanity. NOT miserable. Your misery is not charming. Motivated–even to grow a garden or do the dishes. Open, smart, encouraging, healthy, kind. Kind to wait staff. Confident.

9. a) What does your perfect love life look like?

I’m with someone who has a passion. They value happiness, and know what that means for them. And they’re NOT trying to find happiness in me. They’ll grant me space to cultivate that on my own, as well. I’m understood.

Eventually we’d share a space, and live together. But in the beginning, we’d have separate homes. We’d have a dog, and cook a lot. We’s share food and beverage together. They’d excite me, inspire me. They’d believe in me.

I would like a partnership, a life time partnership.

b) In a word (or words), what does that scenario feel like?

Invested. Balanced and embracing. It feels positive, like saying “yes” to something. Like saying “yes” to trusting something. To not be trepidatious. To be sure.

10. Last question, do you believe in “The One”?

Sure. Yeah. I believe in The One, sometimes. I fear that The One already entered and exited my life. I think there’s value in believing in The One.  Do I think that there’s The One for me? I don’t know. I’d like that.

Thanks Jill!

Inside Voice Wrap Up: Jill is far beyond her 24 years. In fact, I had no idea she was such a New York newbie until I sat down with her for this interview. She’s poised, beautiful, and has a sexy/serious thing going on. She’s correct in her own assessment of herself–she’s clear and deliberate in her actions and speech. It’s the truth. She says what she means, and nothing more. Jill is having a similar experience to many young people who move to NYC after college. She’s getting her grounding, meeting people, and finding her way. She’s confident in herself and her path, and gives herself the flexibility to change her mind. Right now, she’s not looking for a partner. And I think the current volatility in her life would rule out a serious relationship, anyway. But soon enough, Jill wants something solid and stable. Once she gets comfortable in her New York routine, and feels confident in her career and lifestyle, she’ll happily welcome a full-time partner into her life. Until then, it’s gonna be flirting at the bar for Jill. Or not.

***Some names have been changed, some haven’t. Each woman has the option to use her own name or choose her fantasy pseudonym. I’m not telling which ones are which. Hear these women’s voices. Listen to their stories. They’re just like you!

 

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April 16, 2012

You Got Lucky! So NOW WHAT?

Mazel! You got lucky!! So NOW WHAT? (Jewish Mother Sidebar: You were safe and protected, right? Good girl.)

If it’s been a while, or if it’s the first time with this particular partner, you might be a little confused as to what happens now. BUT don’t worry! I’m here to help you navigate the wild adventure that is The Morning After.

Should you…

Shower? If you’re at his place, it’s way too involved. It’s noisy and the bathroom is probably a little dirty. And searching for a Q-tip makes you  look like a snoop. If you’re at your place, wait till you’re alone. Don’t you want to scrub off your mascara in peace?

Buy coffee? Yes. Best to go out and get some. Treat yourself to a latte! And while you’re out, get him a large coffee with half and half. On the side. Men don’t do skim.

Buy bagels? You’re so thoughtful! Hell, I’d date you! Bagels can be tricky, but well worth the trouble. Don’t succumb to over choice; have a plan. Get him an everything with regular cream cheese and tomato. It’s a crowd pleaser.

Sneak out? Do not do this. At the very least, kiss him on the cheek and announce you’re leaving just as you’re putting on your shoes. It’s just nicer that way.

Go for a run? Great idea. If you love to run, do it. Personally, I’m surprised you have any energy left at all.

Go to a yoga class? Sure! But please remember to shower first. Although yoga class is a sweaty endeavor, you’re still in public.

Stay home from work? I like the way you think. I hope you have enough sick/vacation days. Or you’re able to work from home. Because you do need a day off, but you also need to get paid!

Now go out and conquer the world, you lucky lady! It’s gonna be a good day.

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August 1, 2011

Your Hot Bod

It’s the first day of August, it’s scorching outside, and the perfect time to discuss your Hot Bod. No really, let’s be honest about this.

What was your original motivation for going to a yoga class?  If you’re like me, it was weight loss. At the time, in my early 20′s, anything active was associated with losing weight and looking better. All exercise and movement was understood as first and foremost, a weight loss tool. Any other positive or pleasurable results (better mood, more energy, deeper sleep, to name a few) were just incidental bonuses.

It worked simply–when I felt good about how I looked, I was calm, even, and normal. When I felt overweight, fat or bloated, I’d overly obsess about my body, the way clothing fit, and the way I looked in pictures. Dissatisfaction with my body overpowered almost every other rational concern.

And then I found yoga, the best “weight loss” tool of my life. How? Yoga allows me to relax and trust that my weight won’t yo-yo. I no longer obsess about gaining weight after a long weekend of eating. I trust that I will stay at equilibrium, and I trust my body to find it quickly and efficiently. The desire to stay thin has far less of a hold on me. I’ve been more or less the same size for the past 5 or 6 years.

Don’t get me wrong, vanity is still present in my practice (please note the weekly nail polish updates on facebook and twitter!) But it’s not the only reason I practice. When vanity stops being a part of my practice altogether, I’ll let you know. Until then, I will enjoy all of the benefits of the yoga practice. Including my Hot Bod.

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July 20, 2011

Freedom of Forever

“My new goal is to practice forever.”

An actual quote from a student. These are big words, kooky even, but spoken out of self kindness, balance and moderation. Her plan is to practice twice a week till she’s 90 years old instead of five times a week only to burn out quickly. She will see results over time, and feel younger as she gets older. She’ll have more energy to bounce around with the kids, and still have tons left over for herself, her partner, and her interests.

I support her in that plan!

The term “forever” can be freeing  instead of overwhelming.  What a lovely relief to think “forever”, instead of “this week”, “this month”, or “this afternoon”. No more “if”, just “how” and “when”.  No more energy wasted on deciding over the big stuff.  Instead, “forever” frees you up to enjoy the preferences of the little stuff.

You no longer need to resolve to do the right thing, each and every time. Let go of the indecision of whether to attend a yoga class, prepare a simple and healthy breakfast for yourself, or say a kind word to your partner before bed.  Just plan on “forever” and relish the possibilities: Vinyasa over Iyengar, eggs over easy, or “I’m over the moon for you, dear”.

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July 8, 2011

Are You My Boyfriend?

This past week, my boyfriend Alan attended my class. It was an all-levels, super sweaty, fast-paced asana extravaganza. I must say (as did he), I was on top of my game. We regularly share our experiences of the day. I report my little triumphs, admit my mistakes, and basically I unload the entire backstage story of my working life. On Monday, he got to experience it front and center, in real-time.

I am a lucky girl. Alan is thrilled to assume the student role in the student-teacher relationship. In class, he heard my voice, took note of the words I’d chosen.  He wanted to perform well for me.  And in turn, I wanted to do the same for him. I wanted both to impress him and let him in on my public working life.

But I know many teachers that don’t like it when their partners are in class. It can be nerve-racking, I’ll admit. The experience can feel all too sincere, too irony-free, too exposed. You’re out in the open, performing and talking with no hiding place to speak of. As a teacher you’re in a position of authority and leadership. This can be an incredibly challenging space to step into. Especially so, when you’re just beginning to establish a loving, supportive and balanced relationship with one of your students. (As I am.)

So, how do you keep your cool?  Simple: Assume one role at a time. And trust that you can retain all aspects of yourself even when you’re only exercising one specific role. You are teacher, leader, guide. Also, partner, lover, friend. These things can co-exist. We, as love filled beings, can prioritize which role is appropriate and up-front at any moment or situation. Alan can be my student in class, and simultaneously be my partner. That makes him the most flexible person I know.

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June 27, 2011

Why So Serious?

Summertime…..and the yoga is silly.  Summer yoga is a mix of sweat, snot and tears. And at some point all three mix into one slip-’n-slidy yogic mess. In a good way.

Yoga tends to be serious. We focus on the subtle feelings of our body when we’re doing challenging things. We can talk for hours about the alignment of the bones of the inner ankle in warrior 2. Sure, yoga is intense, focused, and refined. But does that mean it has to be so serious? Absolutely not!

I believe it’s possible to have a very internal, die-hard focused, and truly calming practice because of the intensity of the physical postures AND the levity of the mood. Being happy, warm, supported, and loved isn’t a distraction. Laughter doesn’t have to take you out of your yoga practice. It brings you deeper IN.

It’s summer and it’s sweaty and ridiculous. It’s a fabulous time to plan on becoming a hot mess without shame. Just remember to bring a towel.

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June 14, 2011

Self Love vs. “New Age Bullshit”

You’re into yoga, and meditative practices.  You’ve worked on yourself, have a deep understand of how your mind works, and have become proficient in predicting your emotions. You’ve self-studied, and you’re self aware. And still, you are unhappy. Is that your fault?

When do we get to relax and NOT blame ourselves for our less-than-happiness? By assuming we have agency over own happiness, do we automatically blame ourselves when we’re feeling blue?

A dear friend recently told me, verbatim: “Be careful of that new age bullshit”. She was referring to the implication that if we have the power to make ourselves happy, it must be our faults when we are not. Already feeling sad, lonely, and doubting her ability to be loved, she was beginning to feel guilty and pathetic for not trying hard enough to be turn those feelings around. ”If only I worked harder, worked smarter, I’d be happy”, she originally thought.  Turns out, she HAS worked hard and intelligently, and still she’s not happy.

Who needs this?!

Not everything is necessarily our responsibility, or in our power to choose or change. We don’t have agency over every aspect of every thing that happens in our life. We DO however, have the ability to focus on the thing that is most important to us. We can identify the most pressing, most “I can’t live like this anymore” issue and address it dead-on. For my friend, it was not feeling lovable. Therefore she’s demonstrating to the world just how well she deserves to be loved by loving on herself in a big yummy way.

We can all do a little (or a lot!) more of this. We can love ourselves passionately and indulgently, without fear or hesitation.  The first step is compassion.  Compassion for your sweet fragile heart, your internal struggles, and the confusion and doubt that sometimes clouds your spirit. Cradle your heart like you were rocking a small child to sleep. Love the whole package of you.

As for my dear friend, in the past she would have beat herself up for not “doing happiness” right. Today, she’s more interested in just being kinder to herself.

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June 8, 2011

Does My Yoga Practice Really Matter?

A couple of days ago, a dear friend was kind enough to forward over the attached article written by Simon Jacobson who runs meaningfullife.com, on the theme of big scale politics to small scale heart.

This is something I’ve been thinking about lately, more in terms of answering the question “Does my yoga practice matter?” Jacobson would argue that it does, and not just on a small scale individual level. Jacobson imagines that the universe was built specially for us. And that every person holds a micro version of the macro universe within them.

I imagine the universe like a shared excel spread sheet, where everyone has their own password. Changes in our personal life–”butterfly changes”–are felt in this universal spreadsheet.

Thinking this way, our good intentions, thoughts and actions in life really do matter. We have an indirect affect on people by redesigning the universe that we all share. Our yoga practice matters, our LIFE practice matters.

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June 7, 2011

Word by Word

Happy Summer! I hope everyone had a wonderfully lazy and relaxing Memorial Day weekend.

I had an awesome Memorial day, myself. I spent much of the afternoon and evening outdoors at a BBQ with gourmet good, great music (hello Lady Gaga!) and tons and tons of friends…..many of whom happen to be yoga teachers and/or yoga practitioners.

One of these yoga cuties in particular is a lady who writes for a living. Her writing is research based, ongoing and intense. I asked her if her yoga practice informed her writing in any way.

She said: When you come to yoga every day, you see results. Same as writing, when you write every day, you see results, paragraphs turn into pages and chapters. They’re really similar in their processes.

So simply put, I love it. Day by day, word by word, it’s a practice.

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